College Dorm Survival Guide: Roommate Rules and Essentials

Before Move-In: The Roommate Introduction

First contact matters:

Reach out early (June-July before fall semester)

How they'll contact you:

• University housing portal shares roommate info
• Get name, email, phone number, social media

First message (via text/email/Instagram):

Template: "Hey [Name]! I'm [Your name], your roommate for [Dorm] this fall! I'm from [hometown] and studying [major]. I'm excited to meet you! Want to connect and figure out who's bringing what so we don't have duplicate stuff?"

Why this works:

• Friendly, not overwhelming
• Opens door to logistics discussion
• Shows you're organized

The coordination call/video chat:

Discuss BEFORE move-in:

1. Who brings what (shared items):

• ✅ Microwave (1 per room)
• ✅ Mini-fridge (1 per room)
• ✅ TV (if wanted—not essential)
• ✅ Vacuum/cleaning supplies (share)
• ✅ Fan (1-2 for room)

Coordinate so you don't both bring mini-fridges

2. Room setup preferences:

• Who wants top/bottom bunk (if applicable)?
• Bed lofting? (Raises bed, creates space underneath)
• Desk arrangement?

Be flexible—you're both new at this

3. Early boundaries (keep it light):

• "I'm pretty quiet and go to bed around 11 PM on weeknights"
• "I study best in silence, might use the library a lot"
• "I'm messy/clean freak, working on it!"

Don't: Interrogate them about party habits, significant others, etc. Do: Give gentle preview of your habits

Move-In Day: Setting Up for Success

First 24 hours critical:

The roommate agreement (fill out together)

Most colleges require "roommate contract"—take it seriously

Key sections:

1. Quiet hours:

• Weeknights: When does noise need to stop? (10 PM? 11 PM?)
• Weekends: More flexible?
• Finals week: Earlier quiet hours?

Example agreement: "Quiet by 11 PM Sunday-Thursday, 12 AM Friday-Saturday. During finals, 10 PM every night. Use headphones after quiet hours."

2. Guest policy:

• Overnight guests: How many nights/week okay?
• Advance notice required? (24 hours?)
• Significant others: Max nights/week?

Example: "Overnight guests okay 2 nights/week max with 24-hour notice. No guests during finals week."

This prevents "my boyfriend lives here now" situations

3. Sharing policy:

• Food: Separate or shared?
• Toiletries: Don't touch
• School supplies: Ask first
• Clothes: Off-limits unless explicitly borrowed

Default: Everything is separate unless discussed

4. Cleaning schedule:

• Who vacuums when?
• Taking out trash (alternating weeks?)
• Bathroom cleaning (if suite-style)

Example: "Alternate trash duty weekly. Vacuum before room inspections. Clean up own messes immediately."

5. Temperature/lighting:

• AC/heat preferences?
• Sleep with lights on/off?
• Nightlight okay?

Compromise required—nobody gets 100% their way

Establish communication norm:

"Hey, if anything I do bothers you, please tell me directly. I promise I won't get mad—I'd rather know than have you annoyed. I'll do the same."

This opens door to future conversations

Dorm Essentials: What You ACTUALLY Need

The minimalist list (not Pinterest fantasy):

Bedding (buy quality—you sleep here 8 hours/night):

✅ Mattress topper (ESSENTIAL) ($30-50)

• Dorm mattresses = hard plastic bricks
• 2-3 inch memory foam topper = life-changing
• Single best purchase

✅ Twin XL sheets (2 sets) ($20-40)

• Dorm beds = Twin XL (longer than regular twin)
• Two sets = one to wash, one on bed

✅ Comforter/Duvet ($30-60)

• Temperature-appropriate for climate
• Dorms often over-heated (winter) or under-cooled (fall/spring)

✅ Pillow(s) ($15-30)

• Bring from home or buy decent one

❌ Skip: Decorative pillows (waste of space), bed skirt (nobody cares)

Storage (dorms = tiny):

✅ Under-bed storage bins ($15-30)

• Raises bed 6 inches = tons of storage
• Clear bins (see contents)

✅ Over-door hooks ($5-10)

• Towels, jackets, bags
• Maximizes vertical space

✅ Desk organizer ($10-20)

• Pens, scissors, tape, stapler
• Prevents desk chaos

✅ Closet organizer ($15-25)

• Hanging shelves for sweaters, shoes
• Doubles closet space

❌ Skip: Elaborate storage systems (no room), ottoman storage (bulky)

Study essentials:

✅ Desk lamp ($15-25)

• Dorm overhead lights terrible for studying
• LED, adjustable brightness

✅ Laptop (already have)

✅ Noise-canceling headphones ($30-200)

• ESSENTIAL for studying with roommate in room
• Blocks out dorm noise

✅ Backpack (already have)

✅ Notebooks, pens, highlighters ($20)

❌ Skip: Printer (use library—ink costs fortune)

Tech/Electronics:

✅ Power strip with surge protector ($15-25)

• Dorms = 2 outlets for 2 people
• Minimum 6-outlet strip
• Surge protection protects laptop

✅ Phone charger (extra) ($10-15)

• Keep one at desk, prevents forgetting

✅ Laptop charger (extra if possible) ($30-60)

• Backup if main one breaks

✅ Extension cord ($10)

• Reaches across room

❌ Skip: Fancy speakers (use headphones), gaming console (time-sink + space), tablet (laptop does everything)

Bathroom/Personal care:

✅ Shower caddy ($10-15)

• Carries toiletries to communal bathroom

✅ Shower shoes/flip-flops ($5-10)

• ESSENTIAL—communal showers = gross
• Prevents athlete's foot, worse

✅ Towels (2 sets) ($20-30)

• One to use, one to wash

✅ Bathrobe ($15-25)

• Walk to/from shower modestly

✅ Toiletries: Shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc.

✅ First aid kit ($15)

• Band-aids, pain reliever, cold medicine

❌ Skip: Excessive beauty products (no counter space)

Food/Kitchen:

✅ Reusable water bottle ($15-25)

• Stay hydrated, save money

✅ Coffee mug ($5)

• If coffee drinker

✅ Bowl, plate, silverware set ($10-15)

• For ramen, cereal, microwave meals

✅ Paper towels ($5)

✅ Snacks (ongoing expense)

• Granola bars, crackers, peanut butter

Coordinate with roommate: ✅ Mini-fridge ($80-120, split cost) ✅ Microwave ($40-60, split cost)

❌ Skip: Hot plate (fire hazard, usually banned), toaster (banned), coffee maker (use dining hall or Keurig)

Cleaning supplies:

✅ Disinfecting wipes ($5)

• Wipe down desk, doorknobs

✅ Laundry detergent ($10)

• Pods easiest

✅ Laundry bag/basket ($10-15)

✅ Febreze ($5)

• Dorm rooms get musty

✅ Trash bags ($5)

Coordinate with roommate: ✅ Vacuum (share)

Comfort/Decor (minimal):

✅ Photos (free—print from phone)

• Family, friends, high school memories
• Command strips to hang

✅ String lights ($10-15)

• Softer lighting than overhead

✅ Small rug ($20-30)

• Dorm floors = cold tile/concrete

❌ Skip: Excessive decorations (no space), tapestries (fire hazard), furniture (no room)

Miscellaneous must-haves:

✅ Umbrella ($10) ✅ Reusable shopping bag ($5) ✅ Duct tape ($5—fixes everything) ✅ Scissors ($3) ✅ Command strips/hooks ($10—for hanging without damaging walls) ✅ Fan ($20-30)

• Dorms poorly ventilated
• White noise for sleeping

Living Together: Communication Strategies

Preventing roommate horror stories:

Weekly check-ins (first month):

Sunday night, 5 minutes: "Hey, anything I did this week that bothered you? Anything I can do better?"

Purpose:

• Catches issues early (before resentment builds)
• Normalizes honest feedback
• Shows you care about coexisting peacefully

After first month: Check in as needed, or monthly

How to address problems:

USE "I" statements, not "YOU" accusations:

❌ "You're so loud and inconsiderate!" ✅ "I'm having trouble sleeping when music is on after midnight. Could we agree on quiet hours?"

❌ "You never clean!" ✅ "I've noticed the trash is full. Can we set up a rotating schedule?"

❌ "Your girlfriend is here TOO much!" ✅ "I'm feeling like I don't have privacy in my own room. Can we talk about guest policies?"

Calm, specific, solution-oriented

When to involve the RA (Resident Advisor):

Try direct communication first

Involve RA if:

• Direct conversation failed (ignored you)
• Serious violation (drugs, violence, sexual harassment)
• You feel unsafe
• Roommate refuses to compromise on basic respect

RA can:

• Mediate conversation
• Enforce dorm rules
• Facilitate room change (if necessary)

Don't: Tattle over every minor annoyance Do: Escalate if genuine safety/wellbeing concern

Common Roommate Conflicts (And Solutions)

Top issues:

Conflict 1: Different sleep schedules

Scenario: You sleep 11 PM, they stay up until 2 AM

Solution:

• Eye mask + earplugs for you
• Headphones + desk lamp (not overhead) for them
• Roommate studies in lounge/library after your bedtime

Compromise required on both sides

Conflict 2: Overnight guests (especially significant others)

Scenario: Their boyfriend/girlfriend practically lives there

Solution:

• Refer to roommate agreement (2 nights/week max)
• "Hey, I agreed to 2 nights/week. [Partner] has been here 5 nights this week. Can we stick to our agreement?"
• If continues: RA involvement

Sexiling (kicking you out so they can have sex):

• Needs advance notice AND your consent
• You have equal right to room
• "I'm not comfortable being sexiled. Can we work out times when I'm already out?" (class, gym, etc.)

Conflict 3: Cleanliness differences

Scenario: You're neat, they're messy (or vice versa)

Solution:

• Divide room visually (your side clean, their side their business)
• Shared spaces (floor, door area) = clean
• "Your mess is creeping into shared space. Can you keep it on your side?"

Don't: Clean up after them (enables behavior) Do: Communicate, set boundaries on shared space

Conflict 4: Noise during study time

Scenario: You have exam tomorrow, they're watching Netflix loudly

Solution:

• Communicate: "I have a big exam tomorrow, could you use headphones tonight?"
• Go to library (sometimes easier than fight)
• Establish quiet hours during finals week

Conflict 5: Borrowed items without asking

Scenario: Your hoodie, food, school supplies keep disappearing

Solution:

• Direct: "Hey, I noticed my [item] was used. I'd appreciate if you ask first."
• Lock valuables if necessary (small safe or locked drawer)
• Stop buying "shareable" food (individually wrapped items harder to "borrow")

When Roommate Relationship Isn't Working

Sometimes it's unfixable:

Room change process:

Most schools allow room changes after first semester

Steps:

1. Document issues (dates, what happened)
2. Show attempt to resolve (talked to roommate, involved RA)
3. Request room change through housing
4. May need to wait for opening (not guaranteed)

Don't feel bad—some people aren't compatible, and that's okay

Making the best of bad situation:

If stuck together:

• Spend minimal time in room (library, student center, friends' rooms)
• Headphones = your best friend
• Countdown to semester end
• Request different roommate for next year

One semester is 15 weeks—you can survive anything for 15 weeks

The Silver Lining: Learning Experience

Dorm life = adulting boot camp:

Skills you'll gain: ✅ Conflict resolution ✅ Compromise ✅ Living with strangers ✅ Sharing small spaces ✅ Communication ✅ Boundary-setting

These skills transfer to:

• Future roommates (post-college)
• Relationships
• Coworkers
• Life

Even terrible roommate experience teaches you what you WON'T tolerate in future

Survive dorm life through proactive roommate communication establishing written agreement covering quiet hours (11 PM weeknights suggested), overnight guest limits (2 nights weekly preventing significant-other takeover), sharing policies (food separate unless discussed), cleaning schedules (alternating trash duty). Essential purchases: mattress topper ($30-50 transforming plastic-brick beds), Twin XL sheets (two sets), power strips (dorms have two outlets total), shower shoes (communal bathroom protection), noise-canceling headphones (studying with roommate present). Address conflicts using "I" statements ("I'm having trouble sleeping with late-night music" not "You're inconsiderate") attempting direct resolution before involving RA. Coordinate shared items—mini-fridge, microwave, vacuum—preventing duplicate purchases. Document serious unresolved issues supporting room-change requests requiring demonstrated resolution attempts showing housing incompatibility genuine.